Beans, beans, the musical fruit...

“Beans, beans, the musical fruit…..”

Thanks to Bart Simpson a whole generation of 30 something’s instantly recognise the literary merits of this simple rhyming “coup d’ etat” (for those few asleep during the last twenty years this masterpiece of rhyming art, is reproduced in all its glory at the end of this blog).


Everyone has heard of, and probably even partaken of, Paella. Which, when consumed in any Guiri Costa del Britain resort, is something truly wondrous to behold. Its complete lack of authenticity, its stodginess (King Canute would definitely have held back the tide had he the foresight to build a breakwater made from the stuff – see picture, right), and thoroughly unpleasant aftertaste has me running for the nearest “Fish and Chips From Blighty” at “Del Boy’s Pub”.

At that point, most visitors to this fair land disengage from Spanish gourmandship (yes, I did make that word up!)

Back on track…

Let’s not disparage too quickly the humble pulses that are beans… The (sometimes) unfortunate consequences of overindulgence are but a mere bagatelle when compared to the other truly great Spanish culinary art that is Cocido.

Cocido, like all great Peasant Dishes can be found in a hundred different incarnations from the green coasts of Northern Spain ("Cocido Montañes" in Galicia), Madrid’s very own "Cocido Madrileño", to incredibly diverse interpretations (with Moorish influence) in Granada, Catalonia, and yes even "Costa del Britain" (sometimes correctly referred to as the "Costa del Sol").

They all have one common ingredient – the humble bean.

Whether it is Haricot, Chickpea (preferred), Kidney, or Broad bean it is this one ingredient that defines the dish. Following is just one version (my own) of this classic that uses unsalted meats….

If at all possible you should use the dried versions of these pulses (it is the time taken to prepare the dish that is important) and after soaking and boiling appropriately to remove those nasty toxins (!) set them aside.

Now for the fun part – if you are at all organised you will already have a selection of chunky meat - a half kilogram piece of shin beef, a thick wedge of bacon, 300gms of Tocino, a Chorizo or two (3, 4), and for the last half an hour of cooking, a pair of Morcilla de Andaluz sausages.

Pack all the meat in the bottom of a large stock – pot (skin side down) The Tocino will have been nicely reducing in sufficient olive oil for 10 minutes to release some fat. Lightly brown the rest of the meats (not the Morcilla) and add some rough chopped onion, a whole garlic bulb, leeks, carrot, bay leaves, peppercorns, half litre of sieved tomatoes, and sliced cabbage.

Add 2 or 3 litres of good vegetable or meat stock, the chickpeas (or other beans) cover, and simmer on the lowest possible setting for at least 3 hours – no rushing this step!!

Important Note: Whilst waiting it is important to quaff several glasses of a good Rioja (it’s considered polite to leave at least 1 glass of wine for each guest).

Half an hour from the end, add the Morcilla to the top of the, by now, wonderfully aromatic stew and have another glass of wine (this blogger recommends responsible drinking…)

When it is finished you can either serve it traditionally by serving the vegetables onto a separate plate from the meat – or, as I do, all together in a dish of "Hollywood Bowl" proportions.

And finally, as promised….

“Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you Toot!”